&I felt it; the PAIN you left BEHIND.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

damn it

aww mann, why did i have to do it? why did you have to come wish me in school? why why why? damn it. all the things i dun want to remember are coming back to me. WHY why WHY did i lose you? why? damn. 'lil buddeh! you have no idea how much i missed you. how much i miss. it took me so long to let go. to realise. damndamndamn... hmm, though what is happening now actually serves me right and i seem damn happy. you have no idea how much i have to go through. damn it you. i miss you too much. and i know you too well. i know you. i am so dumb. 'lil buddeh! i know things wun change now. but i just want you to know that i never forget. i still remember certain things clearly. but, i dunno somethings. i did some things in a blur and i dun remember them. but i hope you'd forgive me 'lil buddeh.. i miss yu. you were someone i trusted, dont you know? i was much closer to you. when the others hated you, i still loved you. till the day, i dun remember which, but the day you stopped talking. i dun remember it clearly, cause i was in mixed emotions.. but i still remember how much it hurt. and it still does. more than anything. and im sorry lil buddeh. i hope you're not angry with me, cause im not angry or upset or irritated with you. you're just an important part of my past and i still love you.

but 'lil buddeh, we separated before i even had the chance to thank you for whatever you did to and for me. i think i shall say it now..

'lil buddeh i thank you for listening to me and trusting in me and lendingme a shoulder to lie on. i dunno what to say now, cause i dunno, i miss you..

'lil buddeh, you know who you are, cause you called me 'lil buddeh. i think only you and i know...

i miss you):

Posted At 4:35 AM

Sunday, July 6, 2008

hallo

happy belated birthday to myself!!

and.....congrats to shankar anne and carol annie(:

life rocks when you're with the bestest of people! and firstly i want to thank all the dears that wished me happy birthday! i love you guys!(: and my dear mister, thank you so much for the present!(: you're a small little girl that remembered my bdae(:

and anne's weeding today was so fun! well, actually the after-wedding was very fun. but during the wedding, we had a failed attempt at trying to pop party poppers): hee. and i looked nice(: i did the make up all myself(: my mummy did my hair.

and at periappa house... unforgettable lahh. omg, sasi was damn fun and we kiddies had loads of fun. especially me and sasi. haha. well, sasi is also a PSL so that makes us two wierd, bubbly and fun people! and then when everyone came back, we played pattuku pattu!! woohoo(: it was so fun(:(:(:(: then we played nasi lemak... that was also extremely fun!!!! (:(:(:

sasi is damn damn daamn funny. his version of patti vadai sutta kathai is so bloody cute(: haha. maybe i'll tell it to you one day... if only i can tell like he does. haha. bt, i guess peer support leaders get along with each other very well(: we're nice people(:

haha. and i din want to leave... but we did and thats why im here now(: but my mummy's trying to make me go slepp...so i think i shall. cause im tired out after today.. okay, now im gonna name my dad side relatives(:

priya(:, preeta, soorieya gandhi, nagarajah, rajan, veynii, sutha, suresh, shankar, carol, rojah, ranjan, perima, sharmila, eswaran, lucy, sanjeeven, dheepan, jeyanthi, kumar, shamini, anand, vijay, chitra, perippa, karthik, sathish, maama, athe, thivya, seelan, lingesh, suppamma, kavitha, chandra, maama, lalitha, ranjini, maama, thilak, farida, siva, banu, sharin, shavin, sharnitha, ismail, father, mother, martin, and sister, aatha, deva, bhavani, sasi, deva, subash, arjun, priyadarshini, shamini,

and alot of other people whose names are abit difficult to remember and there's tooooo many of them to continue typing. i think i only name one third or a quarter of the names only):

haha, but what to do... i have a big family and i cant wait to get back together again!! im waiting(:

im so confused...........

lets take a marker each,

and draw what we like,

then we'll all put it together,

somehow it comes back to the same shape..

a heart

the true meaning lies beneath..

and that is..

WE MUST NEVER FORGET THAT WE ARE...

FAMILY(:

:)I LOVE YOU PEOPLE(:

Posted At 6:21 AM

Monday, June 30, 2008

back(:

hey there. omg im having a really wierd convo. hahaha. im being INTERVIEWED!

muahahahahahahahahaha. anyway its not so fun. i have to find alot of things to say):

anyway, the floating stage is... FLOATING!!! haha. it was fun. the charades and everything.

and thats all for now. im lazy to blog. byeee(:

Posted At 2:48 AM

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

my oh my

wow. lookie at what people have to say about me. and i want to know what im smiley about? hallo, its my life an i deserve to be happy whenever i want to. well, i do know who you are. and im glad you let it all out. its not good for the soul to keep everything bottled up. so, good for you. but one thing you dun understand is that what made everything go wrong in the first place. seriously, ask yourself if you had told me anything before you stopped talking to me. huh? and did you talk to me about how you felt? no. i admit i made mistakes before. BTW, i never said that i was a perfect preson, now did i? well, if i did. well for the whole world to know:

i am bloody not a freaking perfect person got it? good.

well, second, even if i have stopped talking to you ppl, its not as though i still hold grudges against you'll. i have forgotten whatever you did to me and what i did to you. i dun like being angry for no reason, when everything is over. the only thing still remains is that i wun talk to you ANYMORE. you' ve proved alot of things. and i can assure that i never wanted to take advantage of you, and if thats what you thought, im sorry. cause those were never my intentions. and yes, i agree that im a difficult person.

and i agree that im the reason for the shit i was in before this. but, i assure that i am truly happy now. knowing that you ppl are okay the way you are. it was meant to be this way in the beginning anyway. and im not saying this to flatter people to make them think im nice. i may have said some things before and im sorry. but i dun want to have any of your friendships anymore and i am sure that you dun want mine either. and im happy with that.

what all of you dunno is, its not the first time ive been through it and i know how to cope with it cause i know that GREAT friends are not easy to get. making friends is alomst like trial and error and i guess... so, enjoy your lives and dun worry about me cause i dun care. and im not acting smiley if you think thats what im doing. what you think is not always right and what i think is not always right. and i know that. but thanks anyway for proving yourselves to me. goodbye once and for all.

Posted At 5:18 AM

Friday, June 20, 2008

updatee

i had a nicee dream yesterday night...

i dreamed that i got married to YOU. in a really differently wierd way. but, it felt nice. really nicce. i dunno, i woke up feeling really tired. going back to sleep and still dreaming about it. i dunno. but i think i like the dream alot. like really alot.

well yeah.. hmm, i dunno why. but everyone treats me for granted. i don't owe anyone a living. and yes, i blame myself for being so nice. but, thats who i am. i just go the extra mile for those i really care about. but i dont like it when you dont know how to appreciate it and you still expect more. now, thats sheer dumbness. and i seriously cannot take it, when you make everything seem like it my fault. you know, thats how people treat maids. like animals, like filthy creatures. i dont do that. i dont like that. i know how it feels. and im not a creature. im a human being like everyone of you. so archana,amreetaa,jaya,mirna,saranya,narmadha,suria why me?

anyway, today was really fun and tiring.
it was leadership course day. and it was really interesting(: woohoo!
first, we played this memory card game. my group lost.. but thats okay. WE STILL ROCK!
second, we did sKIPPING(:.. but unfortunately, my class is not so athlatically inclined. so, but hats off to them for their wonderful effort and tireless cheers. and this goes to both groups(:(:
third, was the toughest, most tiring, most energy draining (same thing).. game. kay, firstly, we had to like leopard crawl under our groupmates who were in sit up position.): then after we reached the first cone, we all had to put our legs around each other in a straight line. and then, we had to use our bUTTS to move across, to the second cone. and my oh my. it was a confusing struggle, but our group winned amazingly(: heehe. then, we had to go back. (oh bloody shit!) so, we struggled back and this time we were singing "there was a stream" heh(: yeah!
then, fourthly, we did this balloon thing. then me, yenyi and priscilla were in one group. and haha, we were the first to finsh. we just threw the string over the balloon and made like loop holes and then, we just moved across real fast. and we did so matter-of-factly that i found it real amusing. and then the coach there said that we were so good, so she let us have two ballons, which i, kimberly and crystal threw from the second floor at the class(: hehe
then lastly, we played this game called flippy dippy(:. it was really fun and we were all falling over each other! haha. but yeah. it was really fun. and then
MUMMY!! ITS OVERR): boohoo. our class was the first to finish. so then, when all were done. we did the formalities. then before leaving, 2O did billy banja!! haha. and yeah. it was aday wth loads of screaming and shouting and crwling and Butt moving. haha. but it was really fun..

then, i went to buy milo oreo with samyu. then my mummy came to fetch me and we went to tekka to have lunch. then i went home and i fell asleep and omg, im so tired):):):): all results of dumby dumby history project): bleah!!! and we wanted to watch dasaavatharam. me, mummy, daddy, preeta, farida akka, and thilak machan. but we cldn. i went to try online booking, but there were only three seats available. like OMG! so yeah, anw, who cares. i hate kamalahassan anyways.

so, i hope i see you tonight. but idunno. and shit, i feel like puking. okayokay. well, i think i should go bathe and was h my hair.. and wash my shoes.. yes, wash my shoes and then i'll go pray and then i'll pack my bag for monday. once im done downloading the bloody time table list which is taking such a long time to load that its killing me! bam. anw. byebyebyebyeeeee

you have no i dea how much i love you.

and that heart chain is the least i hve..

i hope the dream comes true...

I.LOVE.YOU.nayekihtrak

Posted At 1:44 AM

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

TO DURGASHINI SHANMUGAM KASEE

this SIXTEEN year old pig has gone to ramar temple to start off her birthday! and she has been told very clearly to pray for ME cause im her dear nicenice cousin(: woohoo! so may god bless her and give her all the wealths in the world. and may she have a sweet SIXTEEN birthday(:

I LOVE YOU(:MANGA!!

EH, YOUR LIL SIS DA.I LOVE YOU

Posted At 7:57 PM

hey there..
well, i don't exactly know what to post. so it shall be random.oh! im doing geography homework now. one of my extreme last few homeworks. and all that is left are the sucky projects. i've got a week left and a extremely busy schedule next week. WHOOPS!
well, i'll tell abt my schedule first then. so on monday i'll be going to school from 12-3 for leader's invest dance rehearsal. then on tuesday ive got leadership course from 845-12. damn. then wednesday is project management day): i've got to try to finish all my projects BY wednesday!! then thursday. morning 10-1 is leader's invest walk-in practice. then, 2-5 is leader's invest dance prac. then 730-9? is ndp dance rehearsal. so i'll be going to nritralaya. (:then friday got leadership course 845-12 I THINK. the class one): bleah. then saturday dance class like norm. i think i'll be going temple in the afternoon. YAY(: then, sunday morn temple!woohoo! then i think i'm going msia after that. like what the hell lahh. but, its sth imp. so, ya. boohoo): then mon, school starts. WOW. so, yeah.i think i'll rather get married now and settle down:/

soo, thats a pathetic last week.EMPOLDERING.oh what the. its geography. some land-reclamation thing. *shrugs*

hmm, my sithappa's wedding this saturday. im kinda excited. yeah. and i got ndp rehearsal this friday!

WAVEGIRL(: The wonder of miracles ♥ says:
harlow
~priya** -stars- says:
hallo
WAVEGIRL(: The wonder of miracles ♥ says:
i watched kungfu panda
~priya** -stars- says:
ooh
~priya** -stars- says:
is it nice?
WAVEGIRL(: Failure is not the end says:
yes!!
WAVEGIRL(: Failure is not the end says:
veryy cute
~priya** -stars- says:
ooh

haha. random. its PAYBACK
so anw, oh my god. you know, you and me are so compatible. its like i love to listen to songs and do work and you love to sing and do work. this goes well together. and you and i are so alike. its so sweet(: haha

WAVEGIRL(: Fun in the sun! says:
cos ah, i need more tees lah, all of mine so small alr
~priya** -stars- says:
ohh
~priya** -stars- says:
you're growing
WAVEGIRL(: Fun in the sun! says:
hahahaha
WAVEGIRL(: Fun in the sun! says:
yayyy
WAVEGIRL(: Fun in the sun! says:
i think i'll be taller than u one day[:
WAVEGIRL(: Fun in the sun! says:
yayyy

omg. lameness!

hey snakoo i love you(:

haha. im snake too.

and thank you.

my gold heart.. is you(:

LOVE(:

Posted At 4:10 AM